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[planetdialup]

 

 

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[planetdialup]

I hate that for you too. It wasn't something you'd normally do.

[agardener]

It was something I -

I questioned the first time they did it.

[planetdialup]

...oh.

Sym- can I come over to your cabin?

[agardener]

Of course.

[planetdialup]

[She comes over, and there's the most nervous tap on the door before she softly calls out,]

Sym...?

[To let them know she's here.]

[agardener]

The vriki bounces over to her first and Sym is deeper inside, sitting near the vat with a book. "Back here!"

[planetdialup]

"Hey!" She gave Coral a pet, and came over to Sym. Without another word, she came up to Sym and wrapped her arms around them, book or no book.

[agardener]

He sets the book to the side and wraps his arms around her.

"Mm, hello."

[planetdialup]

"Hi." She made to rest her head on his shoulder. "Sorry for getting in the way of reading."

[agardener]

"Don't be sorry," he says softly against her. "I like the novelty of reading, but it can wait."

[planetdialup]

She nodded, and made to snuggle up to him. "Okay. I didn't need a hug for anything. I just...wanted one."

[agardener]

"Sometimes, there really is no difference in want and need," he tells her, happy just to hold her against him. "I am glad that it is over, though. The flooding."

[planetdialup]

She nodded, closing her eyes and sighing. Something just eased, being able to sit like this.

"Me too. I was..." She shook her head and nestled up to him. "I don't know."

[agardener]

He leans back against the wall and keeps her in his lap, holding her there. "You were what?" he wonders.

[planetdialup]

She was quiet, closing her eyes. She didn't mind being on Sym's lap. It was comfortable. Safe.

"Happy." Her voice was soft. "Those lives were happy."

[agardener]

"Are you happy?" he wonders. "Here?"

[planetdialup]

"I have moments, here. It's been...hard though, since my boyfriend was removed from the Barge." She bit her lip. "It feels like I've mourned him once and now I'm doing it again."

[agardener]

He squeezes her gently. "Did you mourn him?"

[planetdialup]

She nodded. "I knew he was out there. And then...I knew when he died."

She felt some tears spill over, but her voice was steady. "And then I came here, and he was here and alive and...he's still alive. But not...here."

[agardener]

"I don't know much about grief," he admits softly. "But I know about loss. And I know that you are hurting. It is - hard to outlive everything you hold dear."

[planetdialup]

She nodded, and pressed her face against Sym.

"He's alive now, but I- can't handle the grief of leaving him, if I could find him again. I keep...losing people, alive and dead."

Her voice creaked. "It must be so hard for you too. I'm so sorry you have that Sym."

[agardener]

"It isn't hard for me," he assures her. "Human emotions are relatively new to me. The loss I felt was a gentle one. It always hurt when a species would go extinct. Sometimes it needed to happen, but I felt the loss. Vertumna did. Every time."

[planetdialup]

She nodded, and took in a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm down. She felt like she had done way too much crying the last few months.

"I would too, in your place." She tried to rally herself. "I know sometimes it's needed but sometimes...it still hurts, when they go."

She moved to press her forehead against Sym's cheek.

[agardener]

He closes his eyes and cups the back of her head gently. "It does. Have I ever told you about my two friends? The humans from Earth?"

[planetdialup]

"No, you haven't." She gave him a gentle squeeze, looping her arms and offering a gentle squeeze. "Would you like to tell the story? Does it hurt?"