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[planetdialup]

 

 

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[planetdialup]

"You remember kissing someone for once? Alan...you need to live a more careful life."

She was (gently) teasing him, even as she gently patted his back. It was a sort of assurance that in spite of everything they went through, they were friends.

"But seriously. I'm just...not happy that I upset you. You love her. I get that."

Aerith sighed, and her expression became more serious. "Missing someone so much....I get it."

[nonfictional]

He's not ashamed to admit that shining a light on someone else for once -- even if that joke earns a soft chuckle -- is a relief.

"Yeah?" He straightens, all attention on her.

"Missing someone from home?"

[planetdialup]

"Was. He's here now- been here longer then me."

She kept patting and rubbing his back. It was a comforting gesture and made it easier to talk.

"My boyfriend- my partner. He went...missing for years. He went out on a mission and he..." Aerith shook her head, her fingers curling into a fist on his back. "He never came back."

[nonfictional]

"Then this is a reunion." Selfishly, Alan knows that means there's the hope--however small--that Alice can one day join him.

But this isn't about him. He genuinely wants to know more, curious and calm. Apology given and apology accepted. Good.

"He's here now," he assures gently, and moves a hand to gently squeeze her shoulder. "That's the important part. Is he different than how you remember? Since he's been gone so long..."

[planetdialup]

"I tackled him when I saw him." Her voice was a gentle, if rueful at her enthusiasm. But having the gentle squeeze...

She moved to lean again Alan and offered a peaceful sigh.

"It'd been five years for me. And in all the important ways, he's exactly the same."

The smile came back to her face- a more warm, happier expression. "I'm going to marry him. I don't care if I have to make the ring out of tinfoil and ribbons, but I want him as my husband."

[nonfictional]

Alan's heart melts. He keeps his composure, of course--even leans so his head is on hers while she leans on his tall frame--but it's the determined confession that really gets him.

He makes a mental note to meet with Zack. He's sure he's fine--especially if Aerith likes him--but now's the time to pull on what little protective sibling or father energy he has, even if the shovel talk won't be nessecary.

"You gonna propose? Or is that traditionally the guy where you're from like Earth?"

[planetdialup]

It's nice like this. She's not his wife, but she was certainly his friend. And it feels better to know that they're now okay.

Even if it would be hilarious if Alan gave Zack a stern talking to. Of the pair of them, Aerith was the troublemaker. But he was one of the men who'd fallen through the chapel roof, so maybe it was situational.

"Maybe it's traditional, but that never mattered to me." She shook her head. "I'll talk to him about it. He might know someone who can make us rings."

[nonfictional]

"There has to be someone on board who can. The people here have some of the strangest skillsets I've ever seen. You'll need an officiant, too. You can find one at the chapel, probably."

He's assuming he'll say yes. He glances over.

"And write vows."

[planetdialup]

"Oh, likely. I do know there is a priest on board."

She didn't know if Vincent Smith did do weddings, but maybe he would as a favor.

Though she was amused. "Alan? You wanna be my wedding planner?"

[nonfictional]

Alan laughs at that.

"Me? God, no. I'm terrible at that. It was six months of bare-knuckled hell when Alice and I were doing it. But I'd like to attend."

[planetdialup]

That made her laugh. Gently, but still. Somehow, that seemed completely Alan.

"Well if- when- it happens, of course I'll invite you. You can wear a three piece suit." Her voice became teasing. "Maybe have a flower or two braided into your hair. It can be a sign you've been invited by me."

[nonfictional]

That's decidedly unmanly. Alan looks over at Aerith, his thoughts clearly written on his face, but he's also kind of considering it. After all, it's Aerith.

"You gonna be the one doing the braiding?"

[planetdialup]

She only smiled back at him. She can see the thoughts on Alan's face, but it was possible, very possible she'd get her way.

"Of course. It's my request. It'd only be fair if I braided it in."

She might see if she could to it to her groom or others too. She thought it was a cute idea.

[nonfictional]

"If it's the bride taking time out of her special day to help me, I guess I have to." He's smiling despite the reluctant words, though a thought crosses his mind.

"Hey. Aerith. When I graduate--and you graduate someone--you should come visit Alice and I some time."

[planetdialup]

"Clearly." She was smiling still, though that offer had her glance his way. To meet Alice...she did want to know her. She was curious about the woman Alan was clearly deeply in love with.

"I'd like that." She smiled up at Alan. "You'd have to take me on a full tour you know. I want to go to at least one greasy spoon."

[nonfictional]

Alan's smile comes easy to him in return.

"Of course. And a real bodega. John Doe can make a great bacon egg and cheese, though, you should talk to him. You'll at least get some of the experience."

It's nice, he thinks, to offer that to someone. A place. It's one hell of a motivator. He just wishes he knew what the fuck the magic thing to do to graduate even is. A thought occurs to him, a quiet whisper at first but he starts to broach if after a few seconds.

"You've had a few months of wardening under your belt now, right?"

[planetdialup]

"Oh." Her eyes lit up. "I didn't know he could."

Now she had to bug John for food. Well, at least she was happy to make foods for others. She was ready to make sure that Alan had sandwiches in the fridge, if he didn't mind her trying to fuss over him again.

"But I'd like that. I'd like a visit- and have Zack come along too. I don't think he's been to a Bodega."

She was pretty sure she hadn't either. But she'd like to.

But the rosy thoughts were interrupted by Alan's question.

"Yeah? I haven't been permanent paired yet, but soon maybe. What's up?"

[nonfictional]

Alan's nodding, encouraging the other as she peaks. He doubts John will mind if Zack comes along--he's the kind of guy who offers his bathroom if an inmate needs a shower. No way he'd mind.

"What do you think separates you guys from us? Not just power or responsibility wise, but... Do you think it's just atonement?"

[planetdialup]

There's some other things that she and John needed to cover. She'd be happy to bring him tea or muffins or something because breakfast foods were great.

But Alan poised an interesting question. Aerith tilted her head, and considered.

"I think there may be a mindset. Or maybe...a responsibility we take for what we've done." Aerith shook her head a little. "We're for sure not perfect. That's for sure."

[nonfictional]

"No," Alan agrees. They aren't perfect at all. "But that's what makes it work." A half-smile.

"I've been trying to figure it out, the inmate-warden thing. It's a very thin line."

[planetdialup]

"Well...maybe...let's make it a thought exercise."

Aerith spread her hands. "If you were a warden, who would you be? What have you become in order to take responsibility and show someone what to do? Who do you want to be?"

[nonfictional]

Alan lifts his head up.

"Really? We're doing this?" He'll at least try it, though. Aerith really does have him wrapped around her fingers. He sighs.

"I don't know," he answers honestly. "I don't even know if I want to be a warden. There's people here I want to help, things I want to do back home, but..."

No. He's thinking practically. He trails off, sets himself up again. Treats the thought exercise as such, pretends he's writing about a character and not himself.

"Well. We need a proper arc, right? An internal realization, like you said. That comes first. A better version of me, but something that's still structurally me. That's important."

[planetdialup]

"Yup." He wasn't the only one wrapped around her little finger. Poor Alan. Maybe poor Alan.

Aerith pulled back and turned so they could watch each other.

"So there needs to be an epiphany." She nodded. "And that can't be forced. And that means no regression. So...what's this Warden Alan look like? Personality wise?"

[nonfictional]

This is swerving way too close to being vulnerable. Alan looks visibly pained for a few moments before he literally grits his teeth and pulls himself together. It's just a conversation, Wake. But God, he knows why his mind put Aerith in the place of Alice. Now more than ever.

He sighs, annoyed but more at himself.

"I don't know. The same, I guess. Aerith--I've been going through this gradual change thing for a while and I've got to be honest, it's fucking tiring."

[planetdialup]

There was a reason why Alice had been such an easy fit for her. She didn't sigh. She knew he was trying so hard, and this was stumping him. If he knew, he'd already be on the road to graduation.

"No...it would be tiring. It's a lot of pressure." She reached out to gently pat him on the shoulder. "And I know you want to get back to Alice. And no...you're not wrong to feel tired, irritable, and helpless about it."

Aerith understood. She had to go through some things to accept that her life was different now.

"I wish I could tell you what the solution is. But I guess the only thing I can think of is..." She trailed off. "You're not going to like it Alan."