He guides them both to the bed and sits down, pulling her close against him. "Oh yes. I have heard that pillows are necessary. I have included two. In case you needed them. Or - if you needed another person."
"I remember that. When you told me you couldn't sleep well." He moves away from her and stands up, taking off his coat and draping it over one of the chairs before. His boots are next, set to the side before he sits on the bed properly and holds his arms out for her.
Aerith slips off her boots, her socks, before sliding over into Sym's arms, onto his lap to embrace him.
"It's better what I did before. It was...much more dangerous. I've asked the Admiral to make sure I couldn't be mentally influenced in any way because of it."
"People offered help. But I wanted it to hurt." She pressed her face against Sym, and took in a deep breath. "I was getting sick from blood loss. It was stupid."
He wraps himself around her, curling up to keep her safe and close. "Was it a punishment for you?" he wonders. He's heard of physical punishment from humans.
She nodded, rubbing her face against him accidentally.
"I wanted to punish myself because I wanted to follow Zack back home, but I didn't." Her voice was muffled. "Ciel needed me. A lot of people needed me. And I hurt them by hurting myself. So it hurt them more, and I wanted to suffer more."
He rubs her back gently, grounding himself in the warmth of her in his arms. He can't exactly relate to this, but he doesn't feel like he needs to. She has his full attention, his full feelings, right here and now.
"Is there a way for humans to not be sad?" he wonders. "So many I meet are."
It felt nice, having that full attention. She felt cherished, wanted, here with Sym.
It was wonderful.
"There are a lot of ways for humans to not feel as bad. Sometimes, it's just a little sad, and they just need a distraction- or they need to take care of their physical needs. Big sad...it needs to be worked through. Sometimes, listening helps. But other times, they need help. And need to know...they don't always deserve to feel sad. Or, they need to use their sad to help themselves."
"Is that something you can tell yourself?" he wonders. "Do you need help?" Help that Sym can't give her, obviously. He can do a distraction. He can listen. But he cannot do everything.
"Currently...I don't think I am actively sad sad." She told him after she thought about it. He couldn't do everything, no. She couldn't either. And even thinking it, she felt herself relax. "And I don't feel the need to vent, or that I need to do anything in particular. So I think I'm okay." She offered a smile. It was true. She felt okay. "Mostly, I'm just grateful of having this private space, and sharing it with you."
"I know," he murmurs. "I appreciate that about you. There is so much about people that I don't understand. Their ability to say something and mean something else is confusing."
"There are layers to it, sometimes." She admitted. "And I can do it too. It's a lot of...cultural knowledge and background, and other things. Oh, and sarcasm. Sarcasm is pretty big in expressing displeasure."
She nodded. "If it helps...I've had to do some studying because I'm not from Earth. Like you."
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"Uh huh. It's good for head support." She stroked his thigh. "Do you mean...needed for another person? Like you?"
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He shivers, letting her touch where she wants, glad to simply have this moment with her.
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It didn't have to go anywhere. It would be wonderful if it did, but she was happy just touching him, being near him. Having this time with him.
"My siblings and I sometimes sleep in the same bed, but...most of the time, one is a cat. The other, it's in his bed."
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"I see so many benefits to sharing a bed. With family or - the one you're dating," he says. "Mm, can I hold you here?"
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In fact, she scooted closer so their legs touched. "Yes please. We can sit up, or lie down while you do it, if you'd like."
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"I am glad you found something that helped."
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"It's better what I did before. It was...much more dangerous. I've asked the Admiral to make sure I couldn't be mentally influenced in any way because of it."
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He slides down and holds her there, lying in the new, comfortable bed together.
"What happened?" he wonders. "You did not elaborate last time."
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"I...well. I asked a vampire to bite me and drink my blood until I passed out."
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"I wanted to punish myself because I wanted to follow Zack back home, but I didn't." Her voice was muffled. "Ciel needed me. A lot of people needed me. And I hurt them by hurting myself. So it hurt them more, and I wanted to suffer more."
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But with losing her people, he doesn't know.
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"I am. Better. Still a little sad but it's getting better everyday. It's especially better when I'm with you."
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"Is there a way for humans to not be sad?" he wonders. "So many I meet are."
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It was wonderful.
"There are a lot of ways for humans to not feel as bad. Sometimes, it's just a little sad, and they just need a distraction- or they need to take care of their physical needs. Big sad...it needs to be worked through. Sometimes, listening helps. But other times, they need help. And need to know...they don't always deserve to feel sad. Or, they need to use their sad to help themselves."
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"And I don't feel the need to vent, or that I need to do anything in particular. So I think I'm okay." She offered a smile. It was true. She felt okay. "Mostly, I'm just grateful of having this private space, and sharing it with you."
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He believes that she does. Duplicity isn't really a thing that he understands, but it is still nice to hear humans talk about it.
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"Of course. I wouldn't say thing I don't mean. Not about this. Not about you, or us."
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She nodded. "If it helps...I've had to do some studying because I'm not from Earth. Like you."
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