"People offered help. But I wanted it to hurt." She pressed her face against Sym, and took in a deep breath. "I was getting sick from blood loss. It was stupid."
He wraps himself around her, curling up to keep her safe and close. "Was it a punishment for you?" he wonders. He's heard of physical punishment from humans.
She nodded, rubbing her face against him accidentally.
"I wanted to punish myself because I wanted to follow Zack back home, but I didn't." Her voice was muffled. "Ciel needed me. A lot of people needed me. And I hurt them by hurting myself. So it hurt them more, and I wanted to suffer more."
He rubs her back gently, grounding himself in the warmth of her in his arms. He can't exactly relate to this, but he doesn't feel like he needs to. She has his full attention, his full feelings, right here and now.
"Is there a way for humans to not be sad?" he wonders. "So many I meet are."
It felt nice, having that full attention. She felt cherished, wanted, here with Sym.
It was wonderful.
"There are a lot of ways for humans to not feel as bad. Sometimes, it's just a little sad, and they just need a distraction- or they need to take care of their physical needs. Big sad...it needs to be worked through. Sometimes, listening helps. But other times, they need help. And need to know...they don't always deserve to feel sad. Or, they need to use their sad to help themselves."
"Is that something you can tell yourself?" he wonders. "Do you need help?" Help that Sym can't give her, obviously. He can do a distraction. He can listen. But he cannot do everything.
"Currently...I don't think I am actively sad sad." She told him after she thought about it. He couldn't do everything, no. She couldn't either. And even thinking it, she felt herself relax. "And I don't feel the need to vent, or that I need to do anything in particular. So I think I'm okay." She offered a smile. It was true. She felt okay. "Mostly, I'm just grateful of having this private space, and sharing it with you."
"I know," he murmurs. "I appreciate that about you. There is so much about people that I don't understand. Their ability to say something and mean something else is confusing."
"There are layers to it, sometimes." She admitted. "And I can do it too. It's a lot of...cultural knowledge and background, and other things. Oh, and sarcasm. Sarcasm is pretty big in expressing displeasure."
She nodded. "If it helps...I've had to do some studying because I'm not from Earth. Like you."
Aerith shook her head, and moved up to she could kiss his nose gently.
"When it comes to people, there are- a lot of things we don't just know. There are things I don't know about people still. A lot of it, humans are given the knowledge by living in it."
She stroked his face. "There's a lot of things people can take for granted."
He closes his eyes, just taking comfort from her touch. "I don't want to be human, Aerith. I want to understand them. But - I will always be me. A Gardener. And you will always be you. And I think I like that about you the most."
He loops his arms around her in turn, keeping his eyes closed to sink down into the kiss with a happy sigh. She's half human, but she's also, different. Something else while also being herself.
And he appreciates her so much.
He lets the kiss deepen, his fingers toying with her hair.
And right now, she is the person adoring Sym, loving him even as she closed her eyes and sank deep into the kiss. Felt her fingers tangle in his hair, in his coat as the kiss went deep and her breath quieted.
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"I...well. I asked a vampire to bite me and drink my blood until I passed out."
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"I wanted to punish myself because I wanted to follow Zack back home, but I didn't." Her voice was muffled. "Ciel needed me. A lot of people needed me. And I hurt them by hurting myself. So it hurt them more, and I wanted to suffer more."
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But with losing her people, he doesn't know.
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"I am. Better. Still a little sad but it's getting better everyday. It's especially better when I'm with you."
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"Is there a way for humans to not be sad?" he wonders. "So many I meet are."
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It was wonderful.
"There are a lot of ways for humans to not feel as bad. Sometimes, it's just a little sad, and they just need a distraction- or they need to take care of their physical needs. Big sad...it needs to be worked through. Sometimes, listening helps. But other times, they need help. And need to know...they don't always deserve to feel sad. Or, they need to use their sad to help themselves."
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"And I don't feel the need to vent, or that I need to do anything in particular. So I think I'm okay." She offered a smile. It was true. She felt okay. "Mostly, I'm just grateful of having this private space, and sharing it with you."
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He believes that she does. Duplicity isn't really a thing that he understands, but it is still nice to hear humans talk about it.
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"Of course. I wouldn't say thing I don't mean. Not about this. Not about you, or us."
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She nodded. "If it helps...I've had to do some studying because I'm not from Earth. Like you."
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"When it comes to people, there are- a lot of things we don't just know. There are things I don't know about people still. A lot of it, humans are given the knowledge by living in it."
She stroked his face. "There's a lot of things people can take for granted."
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"And I don't want you to be human. I want you to be you. You are wonderful as you are Sym. A handsome, intelligent...kind Gardener."
And she leaned in to press her body against him and kiss him, her arms curling around him, and her hands pressing against his back.
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And he appreciates her so much.
He lets the kiss deepen, his fingers toying with her hair.
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And right now, she is the person adoring Sym, loving him even as she closed her eyes and sank deep into the kiss. Felt her fingers tangle in his hair, in his coat as the kiss went deep and her breath quieted.
She didn't want to stop kissing him for awhile.