It was before you arrived. Visitors from our lives took our place... Lord Dreus took mine, and when he was challenged... He killed Madelyne, and her own visitor confronted the demon.
I did not know the creature was there before this. What I truly worshipped and was handmaiden to. It has troubled me, ever since.
It has been difficult for me to speak ill of it. I tried to believe with my entire heart that my devotion might mean something. And I was told I was very special, that my sacrifice would bring peace to others.
Saying it feels like lip service- which I'm not trying to do. It's more...
[She sighs.]
There's this build up in our heads, of who we are when people tell us we're special- that we can do something only for them. And when you can't, or it's a lie, or it isn't what we think it is...
Your world just...crashes down.
If you're not that person...then who are you? Are you worth anything, to anyone?
I became one because I was desperate. I am a warden because I was so scared to lose everything- my friends who had become my family. The places I loved.
Not every warden is like me. But that's why I'm here.
[ Friend just isn't really in her vocabulary. Nor any other kind of relationship. The only relationship that ever mattered was the one with her false god. ]
They do not know what to do with the Godking's martyr. And when I am not her, I have little else to offer.
They all pose graduation to me in this void, as though it should be obvious that I could repair my world. They can't sit with our suffering without telling me to give more.
[ A tearful little sniff. She had very much wanted to befriend the new greenhouse warden and to show she could adapt to a change without fear. It was disappointing to have it tarnished so quickly. ]
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I once thought... What I felt there was my faith. I thought it was the voice of my Lord. But the creature showed itself on the Barge.
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I heard them too.
[She could still see the nightmare that manifested as someone so precious to her. It wrecked her.]
Did it...manifest? In front of you?
I understand some were monsters, and others...possessed people.
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I did not know the creature was there before this. What I truly worshipped and was handmaiden to. It has troubled me, ever since.
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I mean...apparently I was one of those visitors once. I don't remember it.
And when I saw you before this...this is what they wanted you to do. As their handmaiden. Had you do for their...cause. Fed them.
That's...a lot for you to go through.
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It has been difficult for me to speak ill of it. I tried to believe with my entire heart that my devotion might mean something. And I was told I was very special, that my sacrifice would bring peace to others.
But... reality is something different.
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Saying it feels like lip service- which I'm not trying to do. It's more...
[She sighs.]
There's this build up in our heads, of who we are when people tell us we're special- that we can do something only for them. And when you can't, or it's a lie, or it isn't what we think it is...
Your world just...crashes down.
If you're not that person...then who are you? Are you worth anything, to anyone?
I've gone through that, a bit.
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You are better suited to take care of the Barge.
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You deserve to make a life for yourself.
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I became one because I was desperate. I am a warden because I was so scared to lose everything- my friends who had become my family. The places I loved.
Not every warden is like me. But that's why I'm here.
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You've done well.
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Do you...have friends here Idle? I'd assume you do. You're kind, hard working. Thoughtful.
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A few friends are still friends.
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The others ask too much of me.
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They all pose graduation to me in this void, as though it should be obvious that I could repair my world. They can't sit with our suffering without telling me to give more.
[ She blinks at tears. ]
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[She moves, slowly, offering to take her hand.]
Let me make you a promise. It's an important one, so I want you to remember it when you feel lost or sad or confused.
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Yes, Aerith?
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But it's still important.]
I want you to know that I will be your friend. Always. I don't expect you to be anything but who you are.
All we need, and all I want is for us to get to know each other.
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I suppose we will be friends, then.
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It was just too bad she had seen such a fearsome side. But they would be fine. Aerith would work to make it so, if they could.]
Yep. That also means we can hang out outside of the Greenhouse.
Whenever you'd like.