[She wondered, watching him. What had changed with Abel. Why he wasn't as reliable as he once was. Maybe...she flexed her toes in her boots, thinking to herself.]
Well...what made him different to you? Is he...acting like someone else?
Or...does it feel like he's trying to move on without you somehow...?
[She considered this. This was very serious, something upsetting him, could mean the end...or at least an awkward part of their relationship. But...she has to wonder.]
[He's not quite waspish, but there's a certain edge to his voice that warns of that particular topic not being one to push at.]
But I'm not— I'm not. That's the fucking thing. [His hands move in a short, frustrated gesture.] This— this guy, that I am right now? It's not some kind of new and improved version of me. It's just me. How I always was. How I was before.
[With a bit of extra damage, sure, but that isn't the point.]
I'm not giving anything or anyone here credit for the fact I have a fucking personality that doesn't revolve around being a manipulative dick.
Long story. But the short of it is, I spent over a year manipulating Abel, lying to him, and making sure no one else could get close enough to him to warn him about me.
[And he makes no excuses about it.]
It's what I was taken on for. If I didn't do what I was told, they were gonna send me back to prison.
[She blinks, clearly taken aback. This was what he did?
Acting as a guard dog, stringing him along? Because of a prison sentence? Alexei made sure to let her know his time in prison was...bad. And...he's just barely older than her.
It's a lot to take in at once.
It's little wonder that Aerith...goes quiet as she thinks on this.]
[He doesn't say anything. It isn't that he kept it from Aerith on purpose, it just never came up, and he's so strangely used to people just knowing because Abel told them or they were around during the one Flood where some version of him was dicking around on the Barge that he forgets who wasn't here for it.
Alexei fidgets, looking down at his hands and picking a few pieces of loose skin away from his cuticles.]
[Some things start to make sense. But too...it is odd this never came up but- how can you bring it up casually? That you used someone, hurt them because you were terrified?
Looking at him now, he's still scared. He's just scared of different things now.
Aerith blew out a breath, her gaze landing on his hands.]
We should do a nail day.
[Her voice was very soft. A way of saying- she still wanted him in her life.]
I'm going to need to take some time to...process that. But thats something I can do later.
I want to be here for you, and listen. And help, if I can.
[He wants to start protesting. Explaining. He swallows it down because she asked for time, she'll ask her questions when she's had the opportunity to think things through.]
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Well...what made him different to you? Is he...acting like someone else?
Or...does it feel like he's trying to move on without you somehow...?
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No, no... that isn't it at all.]
Don't think so. [Alexei mutters. It's an uncomfortable area of thought. Abel is so incredibly important to him, but...]
There's... [Mgh. He rubs a hand over his face.] Distance. But... he's not the one moving forward. I am.
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[She considered this. This was very serious, something upsetting him, could mean the end...or at least an awkward part of their relationship. But...she has to wonder.]
Is it so bad, that you're growing and changing?
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[He's not quite waspish, but there's a certain edge to his voice that warns of that particular topic not being one to push at.]
But I'm not— I'm not. That's the fucking thing. [His hands move in a short, frustrated gesture.] This— this guy, that I am right now? It's not some kind of new and improved version of me. It's just me. How I always was. How I was before.
[With a bit of extra damage, sure, but that isn't the point.]
I'm not giving anything or anyone here credit for the fact I have a fucking personality that doesn't revolve around being a manipulative dick.
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She frowns.]
Manipulative? I've...never seen you like that Alexei. I don't understand.
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Long story. But the short of it is, I spent over a year manipulating Abel, lying to him, and making sure no one else could get close enough to him to warn him about me.
[And he makes no excuses about it.]
It's what I was taken on for. If I didn't do what I was told, they were gonna send me back to prison.
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Acting as a guard dog, stringing him along? Because of a prison sentence? Alexei made sure to let her know his time in prison was...bad. And...he's just barely older than her.
It's a lot to take in at once.
It's little wonder that Aerith...goes quiet as she thinks on this.]
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Alexei fidgets, looking down at his hands and picking a few pieces of loose skin away from his cuticles.]
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Looking at him now, he's still scared. He's just scared of different things now.
Aerith blew out a breath, her gaze landing on his hands.]
We should do a nail day.
[Her voice was very soft. A way of saying- she still wanted him in her life.]
I'm going to need to take some time to...process that. But thats something I can do later.
I want to be here for you, and listen. And help, if I can.
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Fuck, he really thought she was just going to get up and walk away after that.]
Yeah.
[Soft. A small nod.]
... Thanks, Aerith.
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[She offered a soft little sigh.]
...want a hug?
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Yeah. Yeah, I would.
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[She moved to hug him, and give him a squeeze. All gentle.]
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[He puts his arms around her and his fingers curl against her back as he rests his chin against her shoulder.]
I know it's... a lot. If you want to ask me anything...
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[A lot. She stroked a hand over his back, still very gentle.]
But I don't want to...rush what I'm feeling. This deserves time to think it over.
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[He wants to start protesting. Explaining. He swallows it down because she asked for time, she'll ask her questions when she's had the opportunity to think things through.]
Yeah, I get it. Just... whenever.
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Okay?
[She can feel all the anxiety rolling off of him. But no rushing. Too important for that.]
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Right.
[And then...]
I just... want you to know it isn't something I was hiding from you.
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I trust you.
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Terrible decision, really. [He only partly means that, trying to draw a little levity into the situation.] But... thanks, all the same.
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[Knowing him a little more. She offers a little squeeze.]
You're welcome.